We all know the New Year is a great time to start over. I’ve never fully understood why we must wait until the New Year to start over, to begin new resolutions, to start fresh. If you want to start over in…say….October, I say go for it! Why wait until January?
My “start over” begin October 14th, when I moved from Virginia to Hawaii. I had just left my husband and was beginning a life on my own. At the age of 27, I packed up my belongings, my two cats, and moved to the Island of Oahu. My Army job forced me to move to Hawaii, but leaving my husband was my choice alone. After years of fighting and feeling unhappy, I knew something had to change. The Army afforded me the job and money, I chose to move. My move came at a price; I write from a small room with two roommates in a trailer from the Middle East. I deployed a few short months after my arrival to Hawaii. New beginnings indeed.
I have always loved running, and have run for 10 years. I fell in love with the Army during my first few years on active duty. I love the discipline, I love working with Soldiers. Running and the Army go hand in hand; we are forced to run for Physical Training (PT) a few times a week. I cannot be satisfied with a few times a week for running; I must run 5-6 days a week for happiness. When I moved to Hawaii, my running continued, but something was missing. Motivation and determination; two of the things that had kept me running for the past 10 years. In a new place with few friends and a job I didn’t fully understand, the enormity of my decision began to take hold of my emotions and mental state. On several occasions, I almost called my husband to beg him to take me back. But I held my ground; I knew something had been missing from our relationship. To go back would most certainly force me into my old habits of running 55+ miles a week, working 12+ hour days to avoid being at home, and general anxiety of my life. Healing would take time, however.
My wonderful family and friends back home helped me to pull through. They were there for me in more ways than they could ever imagine. In the few short months I was in Hawaii, they filled almost every week by visiting, listening, and providing support. I am so blessed to have them in my life and could not ask for more. They listened when I needed, gave me their shoulder to cry on, provide advice when I asked for it (and even when I didn’t!). My mom surprised me the most; I expected her to be livid, to tell me I didn’t try hard enough, that you don’t walk out on marriage, no matter how difficult things might be. Instead she said “You deserve better. You deserve to be happy.” My father, bless his heart said “I never liked him much anyway.” Parents are great, aren’t they?
The longer I spent on the Island, and the longer my deployment becomes I realize more and more that I can depend on myself. I can do things by myself; I am stronger than I know. That is more powerful than struggling to be happy on a daily basis. I have joined volunteer organizations and planned trips with friends. Always a running, I am planning my future races for when I return. Most of all, I am realizing my inner strength.
As I begin on my new journey, in my “new” life, I am constantly reminded the power of God’s love; the power of family; the power of friends. Mostly I’m reminded of why I fell in love with running: it clears my head, allows me to see clearly. As you go about your day, many of you may be facing your own struggles, your own “new beginnings.” I ask you to remember your blessings: God’s love, your family, your sisters, and most importantly: the strength you have within you.
Sarah is 28 years old and holds a bachelor’s degree in marketing. She is from Minneapolis, MN and enjoys running, hockey, baseball, shopping, and spending time with friends and family. She currently lives in Hawaii and works for the United States Army.